To resolution or not to resolution?

To resolution or not to resolution? That is the question at hand as 2012 is upon us. Staring at us with it’s third eye. Oh yah. I just said it! It’s true..shit a yogi says. haha.

res·o·lu·tion/ˌrezəˈlo͞oSHən/ Noun: 1.) A firm decision to do or not to do something.

These days the word F I R M doesn’t provoke a positive reaction in my soul. Sounds more like nails on a chalk board. Yikes! Rigid. Nope, doesn’t work for me. It never has and never will. I have always rebelled against it. The only thing I like to be firm is my food (*ie: raw food veggie diet and my men!) lol. YES I SAID IT.

I prefer the thought of being fluid. Flowing like water. After all I am Aquarius and our bodies are made up of 90% water so why not go with the flow? Let it come, let it go, let it flow.

Fluidity and being flexible provide me with the ability to adapt to change and take an opportunity when one arrises. If I would have stuck to my 2010 resolution for 2011, I never would have bought land in Nicaragua and built a home. I never would have set out to do my yoga teacher training which led me to Nicaragua in the first place. I love adapting to change while staying truthful to my dreams and inner convictions. Once you realize what your life purpose and passion is, you don’t need to set a firm resolution because each day you are living your truth and as each moment passes, it’s not necessary to judge yourself but rather to keep that endless mind chatter to a minimum and allow it to pass through. Only we can stand in our own way. We are our own obstacle.

In 2012, I will be eliminating road blocks from my past so I can reach my full potential. Once you match your energy (archetype patterns) to your desires and intentions, only then can true manifestation take place.

“Think positive thoughts.” That’s what my father always told me and yes, for the most part I do. When I’m thinking positive thoughts really good things start to happen and then BAM, as soon as I second guess myself or something surfaces from my childhood past - skeletons in the closet whatever you want to call that crap - my dreams don’t fully manifest. I’ve learned we cause our own suffering! You are in charge here. This is your life. Your one chance at it and your thoughts are SO powerful that it affects every one around the world, and most importantly yourself. The only thing standing in the way of your dreams is YOU and your thoughts. Change your thoughts and follow back the negative ones to the ROOT. Sometimes it can be a hard pill to swallow. Doing the self work necessary to get to the root, the source of your pain.

But, in order to get your energy patterns spinning  positively, your road blocks must me addressed. I will not be writing a New Years resolution. Instead, I’ve started to write my own story for 2012. I’m wiring out the next chapter of my life. Pen to paper. I’ve been doing most of my journaling with actual pen these days. I’ve been trying to limit the amount of text messages sent and actually pick up the phone and make a call. I’d rather hear your voice. I’ve been adding more and more people on skype, not for the video component but to hear your voice - don’t want you to be subjected to my bed head and pajamas.

2011 was a great year for me, I bought land in Nicaragua, had a home built, furnished it and started my business Seeking Santosha, learned some Spanglish, worked with the Nicaraguan surf team teaching them yoga, volunteered for Happy Waves, Project Woo and donated to World Vets and 9Lives Adventures, had small adventures through out Central America, made many new friends, learned to stand up on a short surf board, learned to love the paddle and find peace in turbulent water but I made many mistakes along the way. All lessons learned.

In the end, 2011 it was not as great as I had originally hoped. I came into 2011 HOT like a racehorse out of the starting gate, ready to win but I let a few shiny distractions and hard obstacles trip me up on my path but they were all lessons learned. And actually I threw these obstacles and distractions there, in my own way! It was me. I tripped myself. I have only ME to blame. I placed obstacles and distractions in my own way, out of fear. And then the universe gave me some of its own tests to see if I could really apply the knowledge and wisdom I had worked so hard at learning. All the obstacles and roadblocks that I had eliminated years previously were back. It was my own fear holding me back.

So, the end of 2011 gave me a good hard kick in the ass!  Or really, I allowed that kick in the ass. This kick was my fear and now I was the leaf flowing in the river. I was no longer the river. BECAUSE, as soon as you doubt yourself and your dreams, you will be tested. I have several specific stories. Feel free to ask me as I’m always happy to share details. Slightly off track, anyway - what I’m saying is that these obstacles are reminders that I’m actually ON THE RIGHT PATH. I am the river! I’m not going to be a leaf anymore. Floating aimlessly. I’ve revisited some of my bad memories with the new year in mind and I stopped writing my new chapter to rewrite the old one, just for a moment. Reflecting back. I’ve even gone back to certain events from my childhood that may be considered road blocks that have limited my potential or specific manifestations. Re-writing these events with a positive outcome neutralizes the negative memory of them. And now, I can continue to write A new chapter for 2012.

THE POWER OF THOUGHT I wasn’t a firm believer until I experienced it first hand. My Dad drowned in a lake while fishing at the age of 56. The crazy part was, my inner voice didn't speak up telling me it was happening, instead, I got that terrible anxious gut feeling I get when I know something isn't right. Would be much easier if this feeling had a voice and could scream at me!  I felt his energy, this disturbance travel through the universe from Billings, Montana to Pula, Croatia - clear across the world. I was on vacation in Croatia at the time. My own Eat.Bike.Pray mission where I left my corporate job and went on an adventure. I ate my way through Italy, went to Croatia to bike off the carbs on a boat and bike tour, and before heading to Nicaragua to pray, to do my yoga teacher training, my dad died. I was at the Roman Coliseum in Pula, Croatia with our bike guide and all of a sudden I got that anxious terrible feeling in my gut and heart center and asked to be alone. I left my friend to walk alone in a strange city. Totally out of character. I walked through the city alone and down by the water and back to board our boat. I never take time alone when on vacation and this was out of the norm for me. Once back to the boat I still didn't feel great on the inside but I hid it through a smile. Later that night, 12 hours later, I received a text message from my aunt saying there had been a terrible accident and to call home. She delivered the terrible news. I counted back the hours to his death and with the time difference, it was at the exact time he was dying. I felt his energy travel through the universe and it alerted me. This is when I truly started to believe in the power of thought. ♥ I have many more interesting stories too, after his death related to energy, spirit and thought. I believe now - thoughts and energy are so powerful. -UTTER ONE-NESS BECOMES AN INESCAPABLE TRUTH ONCE WE BELIEVE AND FEEL THE ONE-NESS.

-this is the place where my father drowned, a beautiful lake in Montana where I grew up fishing and boating with him. He died doing what he loved. I find peace and beauty in that thought.

Staying centered in love allows us to process emotions and feelings (road blocks) that may arise. Start to write your story and how it will play out in 2012. “Life might be one frame in an infinite movie that lasts forever.” - Joe Rogan. You are the director and the main character. Write your story, your movie for 2012. Write from your heart so you can see what is buried in your heart. Your world is your mirror. What you are living is what you YOU have written so far. If you don’t like it, re-write what you have lived and write something new flowing forward.

Mine goes something like this...to give you an example, to inspire you to do the same. And this is not all of it, just a sneak peek!

2012 - MY STORY. CHAPTER 1 - THE BEGINNING, SEEKING FLUIDITY In this chapter of my life I will focus my main energy on my business Seeking Santosha. I will flow. I started out with the vision of Yoga Surf retreats targeting yoga teachers who had a strong following and have discovered that this is definitely where part of my passion lies, helping others experience the Nicaraguan culture which has truly made me appreciate the North American amenities I have always taken for granted. I’ve now seen a huge interest in voluntourism and karma work as society shifts to OCCUPY LOVE. I will work toward evolving seeking santosha as a means to inspire people to live out their passions, dreams and find a purpose that will sooth their soul. I now see the connectedness of all beings living in the world and understand first hand that the power of thought is the only way we can evolve as a species. The concepts of Relativity and Quantum Physics is no longer a paradox to me but has unfolded before my eyes as the yin and yang, the male and the female and we must learn to dance. We must accept the bad in each one of our neighbors, friends, co-workers, ect. to see that they are US. We are ONE. We cannot reject or judge these people because if they fall down, our whole universe feels the pain. We need to come from love and compassion. We cannot find separation in ONE but we need to learn how to co-exist with every one of us. Leave no man down. I will move through 2012 like a river flowing fast but I will go with the flow, flowing over obstacles but still finding my way to the ocean. That body of water - that is ONE. It is the same place where we all end up. “Like raindrops running down the window, they all eventually hit the windowsill.”-unASLEEP. I will be grateful for everything that comes my way in 2012. I will find blessings for each moment that passes because I’m happy to be alive. I will find the sunshine in my soul even if the rain is coming down outside. In 2012 I will continue to live out my dream and nurture new ones to unfold and manifest. I will get to the source of my road blocks and jump them like a hurdle, still flowing like a river. Or better yet, duck under them when I see them in the way. I will share my knowledge and wisdom to help my friends, family, and strangers to inspire them to follow their hearts and dreams. I will teach yoga. I will finally get paid for teaching yoga (haha) because I have been paying to teach THE YOGA, I’ve been teaching a year for free and believe I have a gift to share but now I can be rewarded for it so I can repay myself for the house I built so I can continue to travel this world, take on new experiences, take more training so I can share this with the world. I want to travel in 2012. I’m not sure where yet. I will go with the flow on this one. I hear India calling my name, Spain, Panama, and so many other wonderful adventures will come, and I will welcome them in. I will always think positive thoughts about myself and others. I will not gossip. I will not judge. When speaking, I will come from a place of love with that first and foremost in mind. I will not give up on love even through all the heart ache. I will conquer fear because if there is fear, love cannot grow. I’m making room for love. I will find a partner that will walk beside me on this journey, a man who will speak his truth and each of us will mirror each others best. But I will always love myself first and I will not compromise my needs to give to another. I will take care of me first allowing me to have energy to give to others......to be continued ---in my paper journal where my pen can flow!

Now what are you waiting for? I hope you write Nicaragua and Seeking Santosha in your 2012 story! GO! DO it. I challenge you to be brave enough to read your past story and write a new one.  YOU HOLD THE PEN. Don’t hold your thoughts as prisoners. Set them FREE.

With love from my heart. Wishing you all the best in 2012. Heidi <3

I'm grateful to all my teachers in this lifetime. My newest one, UnAsleep.  Thank you! You have helped END my 2011 and now I’m ready to start 2012! Thank you Mike Grefner for introducing me to UnAsleep. “For last year's words belong to last year's language. And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning." -- T. S. Eliot